UNFORGIVABLE

It wasn’t a stranger, but a friend.

A cup of coffee, just a cup

A dance, one dance, and I waved goodbye.

This man friend of mine,

He smiled nice, stayed employed, taking me out for coffee.

With a simple welcome to my house,

I made a nice meal,

But my kindness, mistaken for hints;

And my friend, my friend, turned foe.

Driven by lust, locked the door behind me,

And I was left with scars!

I had been betrayed! By one who knew me!

A friend!

Someone I called friend, turned beast!

Betrayed, heartbroken, wasted, dirty,

I could not let this happen to only me!

 I too became an animal, man to man, beast to beast.

My trust had been breached!

I needed revenge, and revenge I did! To all men who my path crossed.

My fellow women, judging me,

They don’t know me! They don’t know why! Yet they judge!

They called me bitch, a female dog!

They called me a slut, as if my legs could not shut!

They called me a hooker, and other ugly names.

But all I wanted was to be unforgettable,

A memory, a wound to every man.

A wrath, madness, to other women.

Each morning I woke up, a joker by my side.

Oh I glittered in the wind; desired by my fellow animals.

At 3.00am I rose, removing the arms and legs that trapped me,

I made myself a bath, flavored gels, assorted oils, perfumed water, to wash away his smell;

To become me again: Clean, head high, sweet scent,

Walking down the streets,

Knowing I was still dirty,

Knowing the many nights, I had cried myself to sleep;

I hated me! I hated me.

I wanted to jump, jump out of me, to leave me alone, to be gone, gone with the wind, never to return.

I fell into a numbness.

The only tree I could see, took me by its branches, and held me up to the breeze,

And once again I got life,

I found peace, in the clean fresh breeze.

There I found her; I found God in her; I loved her.

I found me; I found God in me; I loved me.

Stench made scent, dirty made clean,

The unforgivable was forgiven, forgiven and forgotten.

I forgave him, I forgave me.

Befado.