IT DOESN’T HURT by Ashe Vernon

When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.

 All rights reserved to Ashe Vernon. See more of her works here

Read More

OF SIGHS AND WORDS

Speechless

I am speechless,

When I think of you;

I go mum,

Dumb, damp, with every pacing heartbeat,

With every gust of blood cells from my heart,

Cells paint your name on my veins,

All those impulses of love,

Softly whispering your name,

Softly killing me inside

*Sigh*

In my mind I see you,

Kneeling before your maker,

Pouring your heart, your life, your tears in worship,

Weak enough to submit to a higher being,

Strong enough to give your all to Him,

It turns me on,

So much that,

When I I’m speaking to Him about you,

I just smile in silence, sighs and face palms,

Leaving it to my heart,

To tell Him all that you are to me,

Thanking Him for you,

For your past, my past,

Our present, Our future.

Befado

Photo Credit: Kari Jobe

Read More

MANIFESTATION OF LOVE

Valentines is drawing nearer with each rising and setting of the sun…of all the definitions of love that I have ever come across, these manifestations of love are the best that I can agree with (this is my opinion and that of the writer).  Just from the way it started, “God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.” Caught my eye (and my heart). Here is what the writer said

1. LOVE IS... being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
2. LOVE IS... actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
3. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
4. LOVE IS... being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
5. LOVE IS... being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing, or being right. 
6. LOVE IS... a making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
7. LOVE IS... being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.
8. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.
9. LOVE IS... being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.
10. LOVE IS... being a good student of another, looking for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it, or encourage them along the way.
11. LOVE IS... being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.
12. LOVE IS... being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
13. LOVE IS... recognizing the high value of trust in a relationship and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.
14. LOVE IS... speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.
15. LOVE IS... being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.
16. LOVE IS... being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning, and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
17. LOVE IS... the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a spouse, parent, neighbor, etc.
18. LOVE IS... a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your relationships.
19. LOVE IS... staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.
20. LOVE IS... the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.
21. LOVE IS... being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person, or weakens the bond of trust between you.
22. LOVE IS... refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.
23. LOVE IS... daily admitting to yourself, the other person, and God that you are unable to be driven by a cruciform love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

This is the kind of love I am striving to daily to have.  I may not manifest all, but I try my best to show love in ways that God would like me to.

                     

                 Once again, Happy Valentines from Njeri Kareithi

 

@deekareithi

                                           @deekareithi

see the original post here 

Read More

LETTING GO.

Monday evening, it’s just a few minutes before class starts. This girlfriend of mine has glowing face and a bright smile today ; she is wearing a beautiful sunny dress and some flowery sandals. She places her hand bag on the table and comes running towards me (okay, she did not run, she walked hastily…I was at the other end of the table going though some text messages from a conversation I had had with a friend). She was different. Something had changed in her. She was happy, she was smiling, she was laughing, she had glee; she was alive!

“Dee, I met your people” she said amidst a somewhat outburst. I thought she would scream. Looking around just to make sure no one is listening just in case she says something she was not supposed to (see, I don’t know of people I can say that are “my people”, other than my family members :-D).

“What people?”I asked. She went ahead to remind me of this group that I had introduced to her to. For a few months, she had been going through a rough patch in her life and wanted to let go of some things and move on. She needed something to help her clear her mind. She had done meditation and needed to feel alive again. Being the adventurous bug I am, always looking for adventures to experience; I recommended a road trip to Arusha some friends were doing…she went. And the person standing in front of me was the result of the said road trip which was two days long. She went ahead and explained how it went down...even with pictures as evidence. I smiled. I was happy for her. She had done it!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the year again; as they say, love is “in the air”. It’s February, the so called month of love. During this month, some young partners will celebrate their first valentines, some old couples will celebrate the umpteenth valentines, a time to celebrate their love. To others, however, it is a month where those past wounds resurface, when that pain they experienced with that one person they loved (or thought they loved) bites just one more time.

The sight of people walking hand in hand, people writing to each other love messages in public, people displaying affection in public (not a fan of PDA by the way), and with the recent migration of people to social media, the updates, the photos, the mushy-mushy messages will be something they will not want to see. Better yet; how about staying offline and changing the phone and getting one that does not have all those applications, a “not so smart” phone.

Letting go has been and will be one of the things we human beings struggle with. All of us. There is no way of saying that there is a best way of moving on. The way and duration of one person moving on and lets go cannot be the same as another. It’s like falling in love. No two ways of falling in love are identical, not even two experiences of birthing a young one (I don’t know how appropriate this is), each experience is unique. Well, in the same way, letting go of that love or loss of a loved one is different.

The overlying fact, however, is that for you to move on and let go, you have to decide. Making up your mind and sticking to it is just the first step. The same way you decide to let someone in your life is the same way you can let them out of your life. Do it for yourself; for your well being…then you can heal well. You may decide to do it like my friend did, do something new, take yourself out, experience something new, watch a new movie, spend time with a friend, just do something that you know is worth it. And know your worth enough to let it go. Don’t forget to have fun while at it!!

I too; are on this journey. Join me in letting go of somethings, and letting God. Letting myself be me.

Happy valentines from Njeri Kareithi’s desk. Remember, just as charity begins at home, love begins with loving yourself. Happy Valentines

@deekareithi

Read More

TO NEW POSSIBILITIES, NEW YOU, NEW ME

“Babe, hebu read Isaiah43:18-19, that will be my guiding verse this year (2015) ‘¹⁸ Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. ¹⁹ Behold, I will do a new thing; now shall it spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.’"

Where are my manners? Happy New Year people!!! It may be two weeks late; but it’s still a new year. I hope the year has been good to you so far. Now, back to what I was saying. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the message I got from my one and only SB, a few days into the New Year. Now, you should have seen the excitement on my face as I read that message, the feeling in my stomach; like a thousand butterflies were trying to break free or chasing each other. Well, maybe it was because I was anxious of my exams which were just about to start. Nonetheless, I was excited.  Why? You may ask. Who does not receive a text from their loved one in the New Year? What is so exciting about a text? You may ask. Well, hold your horses. Afew days before that, I was setting my guiding verse for myself, and guess what, it was 2^nd Corinthians 5: 17-19;

^“17 Wherefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new.¹⁸ But all things are of God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave unto us the ministry of reconciliation; ¹⁹ to wit, that God was in Christ reconciling the world unto himself, not reckoning unto them their trespasses, and having committed unto us the word of reconciliation.”

Great! How exactly does that concern me (reader)? You may ask. Well, friends and foes, you may join me is making 2015 a year of new possibilities and new lives, new you, new me. There is something that comes with a new year. That is why we all wait eagerly for it; we don’t want to sleep on the eve of the New Year; because we wait to see the New Year, to feel new, to experience the year that you have never experienced before. 

As this New Year begins, I purpose to have a new perspective of life. This is my resolution (yeah, I admit, I have resolutions). Let’s make this year a year that we make new achievements, break or make new records (spiritual, academic, social, physical, name it), a year to get over that ex that you have been struggling to forget; and find new love, new hope, move from that job that has been making you have ulcers; and find a better and new job, get rid of that habit that you have been trying to end, to let go of friends that have been pulling you back; and make new ones,  make new discoveries about your loved ones, new ways to love them, healing from that loss of a loved one and starting a new life, new you, new me, new hope, new levels. (okay, now I start sound like some overseas pastor I hear preaching in one of the buildings in town as I head home at school at 8 pm. Okay, he is either from overseas or Kikuyu; you know, Kikuyus imitate anything and everything that gives them an edge or vantage view by the public)

“Year right, so much hype you have, wait for mid year; not even then, wait for Feb. and see if you will be dancing to the same tune” I hear some of you say. But you know what? It all starts with the mind. If you tell your mind that you cannot do it; you cannot get over him, you cannot change, you cannot start afresh, you cannot let go, you will dwell in the past; trust me, you will never move forward.

A great and wise woman once said “you determine the elements of your life. You decide what you will or will not do, whether you will or will not change, whether you will grow or not. You also decide whether to be a mushroom that appears for a night and shrivels away at the first hunt of wind or heat or an oak tree, lasting and becoming stronger each passing day”.

This is my challenge to you this year. Let’s seek to have new possibilities; new lives, new you, new me. If you do it with a friend or loved one; the better. You will encourage each other and hold each other accountable when you feel like giving up. Let’s do this people, and toast to the New Year like my dear friend says here.

Happy New Year 2015 people!! Take up the challenge!
@deekareithi

Read More

IT’S THE SIMPLE THINGS THAT COUNT

During the Mashujaa Day public holiday I visited my grandpa…not only was it a good chance to surprise the old peeps whose eye sight is worsening, but it was a chance to drive and not get caught (my license expired). As mentioned, the old man’s eyesight is diminishing as well as his memory. Now, I followed his trail to the farm since he was not home and I had spotted his signature black birika(kettle), which as young tots we had all drank from, brewing some strong tea. When I find him, he is sitted on the ground in his Mbaki (tobacco) farm, paper and pen at hand, drawing a cartoon of an old man (he was a teacher in the colonial government). I laugh at the cartoon and he notices someone is beside him.  I introduce myself. 

“Guka, ni Njeri” (Grandpa, its Njeri). He looks up and asks me “Njeri wa uu?” (who’s daughter).

Well, you have to blame our African parents for naming us all after one person…90% of my female cousins are called Njeri (which when translated means “traveler”), and the male cousins are called Murimi (which when translated means “farmer”). We were all named after our great grand parents who had the characteristics represented by our names.  Back to my tale.

“Njeri wa Kareithi” I said. His face lit up and he started asking me about how Nairobi life was. We chatted for a few minutes before I remembered one of the people I had worked with told me he knew him and asked me to say Hi when I see him. I told him about the man. You should have seen the joy on he face as he started narrating to me how they met. At the end of the story, he was so happy, he was almost on his feet (he is quite old; he keeps reminding us that his legs are so weak). The joy he exhibited just brought a smile to my face. He kept on saying how happy he is that someone remembered him; how that was the best news he had received in a while.

 Fast forward a few days ago…I saw a man in town carrying a bouquet of flowers rushing to an evening bus, pulling along a big suitcase. “wow, that wife/girlfriend must be really lucky” I whispered to my inner self. I figured out that the man had just arrived from a long journey (based on the size of the suitcase and the weary face), but he knew that something as small as a banquet of flowers would make his lady happy and appreciated.

This made me think about how we treat our significant others. Some of us try so hard to do big things, go out of our ways to please them (I’m not saying its wrong), while all along; it’s the simple things that count. What simple things? You may ask. How will I know? You may ask. I once asked my mentor’s husband he makes sure the wife remains happy. “Observe; be attentive. I started doing this from the first day I saw her. That’s how I won her over” is all he could say. I asked my mentor (his wife) what she does to ensure that the husband remains happy and feels appreciated. “be alert and attentive, see the small things” is what she kept repeating.

I later came to understand what they were saying. Being attentive, concentrating, observing your partner makes you know them and pick up little things that make their faces light up. They are not the big things, they are actually small and simple things that one may be taking for granted or as ordinary. We are all different. Each of us has distinct things that make us feel appreciated. Be it that flower you buy for them, that tie you buy for them, that piece of chocolate, that message or call at the end of the day, spending time together, visiting somewhere new, that game he/she loves to play, that movie he/she likes to watch, taking dumb photos (this is my favorite); it differs from person to person. Some of these things don’t cost anything.

 

As we celebrate this festive season, a time to be with family and loved ones, be attentive, open your eyes and mind. You may just see the simple things that count.

Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2015. See you then fam!

 

 

@deekareithi | Njeri Kareithi

Read More

THE ORPHAN

The orchestra plays

The choir softly chants

“Benedictus qui venit

Ni nomine venit”

I sit at the edge of my bed

My soft well padded bed

Swaying my mind, nodding

To the choir’s soft chants

Lonely I sit there,

As I have; daily

Since my parents died

I have no friends,

I have no parents

I process the pain inside,

Softly nursing my inner sores

I tell myself jokes

I chuckle at them,

Tell myself how funny I am.

At times I scorn myself,

For  not being able to do it; to overcome it,

To grow up.

Joy, roy, mackoy,

We laugh, we chat, we coil

I walk with them, everywhere

They are omnipresent,

Immortal, invisible,

My little gods

They are all I have.

My parents were stolen

My only friends taken

Now I have no parents,

I have no friends.

Befado

Read More

BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Over the weeks since my last post, I have been in several bus rides to town, during the evening, for classes (*sigh*, masomo nayo). During these bus rides, as I quietly sit on my seat trying to think about what we were taught last before I attend the classes, I have picked up on a few things (thanks to people who talk loudly in buses; you would think they are story tellers and the travelers are a bunch of children in a nursery somewhere). First, I would never highlight the flaws of my man to anyone (that’s relationships 101), and neither would I rant about my relationship in public (more of relationships 101), but what I heard a lady say (more of utter loudly) to her friend sitted opposite of her made me really think. 

“Why are his female friends on Facebook those with funny profile pictures?”

“He always says that they are busy at work, that’s why he can’t text or replies my texts late...”

“I don’t have anything from him in my house, or that can show we are in any relationship.”

“Since we started dating, he stopped giving me any gifts.”

“These days it feels like he is not willing to sacrifice anymore.”

“

"He makes me feel unappreciated and single, even though he’s my boyfriend.”

The rant went on…

At first, I was shocked, how can you talk so much of your relationship to a person who you are not in a relationship with? Then I started feeling sorry for the lady. See, women are emotional beings and will mostly approach issues from an emotional point of view. I am no expert in relationships (no one is), but after listening to that lady, I would like to share some pillars of relationships my mentor shared with me.

Meaningful Communication

Notice “Meaningful”? Well, it’s not just about communication, its meaningful communication. This is more than just talking to each other. Meaningful communication involves sharing goals and ambitions, hopes and aspirations, success and failures, and likes and dislikes. This is usually one of the key foundations and pillars in any relationship. If this lacks, one of the partner strains. If you have doubts or you are not sure about any issue; ASK! DON’T ASSUME ANYTHING! (The only place where assumptions hold is in mathematics).

Trust

Ask any old couple how they survived through 50 years of marriage and tell me the answer (lol). Trust is established through, fidelity, loyalty, and respect. It is reinforced by the positive action a person takes for the good of the relationship. 

When actions are taken that violate trust, the relationship becomes unstable. Some people want be trusted, but have not taken the actions necessary to become trustworthy. Trust has to be earned. The one that has broken the trust has to be the one that takes the responsibility for rebuilding it.  You can rebuild trust by doing what you say. Your actions must line up with your words. We all have in us the ability to be trustworthy, but we have to value the relationship enough to allow it to come forth. When it comes to a healthy relationship, trust is a must.

Honesty

Consistency, trust and honesty go hand in hand. “What do you hate most in relationships?” I once asked SB “When someone is dishonest and keeps telling lies.” I could feel what he was saying. It is the desire and ability to tell the truth without any intentions to deceive. In all cases, words that come out of a person’s mouth must be the truth. The pillar of honesty must run deep into the core of all those involved. My mentor once told me “telling your partner where you are and what you are doing or who you are with is not hard; if you have nothing to hide”. Till this day, I keep thinking about that statement.

Connection

Well, the queen’s language defines connection as joining together of two people or things. Definitely, the fact that you are in a relationship with someone implies that have some things in common, or share some interests. The things that make you have a deeper connection with your other, which you don’t have with other human beings. This is what connects to the emotional side of us as humans (yes, men too have an emotional side). Some would call this “chemistry”. Know something that your partner likes? A hobby? Music? Interest? What makes them feel loved? Take the time to invest in such things. Sacrifice, let them know how you feel/think, keep the connection alive. If you take this for granted, lets face it, anything not connected is, well, disconnected.

After all is said and done, we should all remember that no two relationships can be the same. Do not try to make your relationship similar to another person’s. Relationships are not there to cause us pain, they are to be enjoyed. Relationships are not easy, but if we work on these pillars, conversations such as the one I heard will not be there (or will reduce). 

   

Build your relationship your way, and make it strong. Make it about the other person; that’s what selfless love is all about.

(by the way, the same pillars apply to other relationships, such as family and close friends).   

@deekareithi

Read More

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT

Will the movie end?

Or will the road have a bend?

Will the earth keep rotating?

Or will it keep the sun anticipating?

Will the wax melt away?

And make night from what was day?

Will the chocolate melt as well?

Or will the fireplace be where I daily dwell?

Maybe, maybe not.

Will the heart keep beating?

Or will it keep bleeding?

Will the blood keep flowing?

Or will it stop without knowing?

Will I forever resist you?

Or will I forever love you?

Will there finally be us?

Or will our love suffer from a curse?

Maybe, maybe not.

Do I still love you?

Do I still care for you?

Do I want to spend my life with you?

Do I believe in us?

Do I? Do I? Really?

Maybe, maybe not.

Befado

Read More

A LETTER TO MY SOON TO BE WOMAN by RixPoet

When I first read this; I was taken aback. The articulacy, passion and wisdom in it is just over and above.  This piece was written by a friend and someone I look up to; a great man, an inspiration and a star in the rising....enjoy

Dear You, 

I've been having funny dreams lately. I see you walking into my life with parachutes and lots of bags - baggage. Yes, I know we are about to fly, but are you ready to carry my luggage too? I've been born and raised in closed boxes and where I am now is a place of retribute; I'm paying tribute to past pains by living in an ocean of good things - happy deeds and poetry.

I'm not sure if anyone taught you how to love. But the man in me is a boy who loves to child. I love playing with mud and dancing to Awilo Longomba in the middle of the quietest nights; the gloom of the earliest mornings. I will sing to you on the first phone call I make you in the morning because life is music and I'm the lyrics. I pray that you are a good dancer. You don't have to know how to shake your African treasures but at least know how to dance to words. If you could listen to the tunes in my speech, and I, the vibrance of the sound that comes out of your expressions, and laughter, then we are going to Rome together. No, Nairobi; my home. Do you have a home?

I've been to many relationships; met bold and beautiful girls and women. It's nothing to be proud of. Through it all, I learned that there is a selflessness that is needed in order to give someone your heart. Emotions are expensive. To sell them to anyone takes lots of nerve and risk. We love wearing clothes and masks that cover our souls so as to create false impressions of a life we do not own. Well, I don't want to wear clothes around you. I want to be as naked to you as I am to God, woman.

Please take note of this, that I do not know how to cook very well, but I can survive on my own. I can try hustle a fish inside a pan with a little oil and savor a meal though. You'll teach me the rest lest I burn our kitchen someday. But God knows I love food. I love ugali and mbuta, with soup. I love rice even though some African men often suggest that it is not food good enough for a man from this continent. Where I come from, there were no puddings and desserts, but once in a while mother pushed in some pawpaw and pineapples after meals. She is a great cook to date. Always reminded us that you must clean your cooking area after you finish with the stove. She should never find any clumps of ugali around the gas if you are the one who did lunch. The consequences were dire.

I love taking long walks. Sometimes when I'm quiet around you, it does not mean that I'm sad about anything. Just be wise enough to read the words of my silence. Sometimes I just want to be looking at you while talking to God in my head, wondering why He had to make your eyes so beautiful. I'm a quiet man who loves his peace and space. And when I'm jumpy and naughty, it is me eating the other half of life.

I'd like to be praying with you. I'm eager to listen to the words you tell God when you are angry with me. Or when you're happy or sad. Your walk with Him matters to me, probably more than anything else. I haven't figured out life to its totality myself. No human being really gets there. But I'm hoping to learn from you things that the world has not taught me. So love me like a teacher loves his students.

On some weekends, I will be out with the boys, watching football or making boyish chatter in the streets. I will not be in a position to reply your texts as fast as I'm used to during such moments. At times like those, please don't think that I'm out with other women. A little jealousy is okay though.

Do not be swayed by my words; I'm stubborn. My tough head will drive you nuts occasionally. I'll be the last person you want to see or talk to on some days. I have a poor memory and could have the tendency of forgetting some things you tell me, though at least not your birthday. But I'll forget the date of our first kiss.

I cherish the idea of chivalry. It's the same way you feel like a woman to serve me food. I'd like to live in your world; plant flowers and make dams on your soil, so I could have a garden to come back to for heavenly fragrance, and a place I could come quench my thirst when life gets me so thirsty. In my mind and heart, there'll be a fountain of endless waters that wait for you to draw them whenever you feel like. Things won't always be rosy, I know. They shouldn't. We haven't the right to heaven yet.

I'd like to know your language, so I could fathom the best diction to write you poems that would make earthquakes in your heart. I'd like to listen to your many words, and questions, even though I will not have answers to a majority of them. What I want to enjoy is seeing you comfortable in your skin; awashed of insecurities that hinder you from being the best woman alive.

I be brave, you be brave. One of us falls, the other picks them up. God is the center of our crimson chord. I know you want this like I do. Let the poetry begin.

Yours,
Eric 

For more about/from Eric, subscribe to his blog , find him on facebook or contact Kenya Poets Lounge

Read More

THE KENYAN ENTREPRENEUR

The other day a friend and I had an interesting conversation. He owns a movie store. It was a Sunday afternoon and I found him there sited, bored. I challenged him to a game of scrabble and with progression of the game a conversation started. He was telling me about this friend he has. The friend is son to a renowned businessman who doubles as a pastor (lol). Now, they graduated at the same time from campus, but the friend works at a national corporation, in a line he did not even study at school, just because his father “knew people in high places”. He goes on to explain that the girlfriend to the guy also works in a renowned company even though she is yet to graduate…talk of being born with a silver spoon in the mouth; literally. The girlfriend, tuseme ni kuangukia tu hehehe *evil grin*.

As the conversation went on, he went on to let me know how the friend would not survive if he lost the job he is at. I went on to ask him why he is not looking for formal employment and he said, “Those formally employed wait for 30 days to get an average of income 60,000 (most earn less than this actually). I make that in two weeks…tell me how I would change what I have now for what you have. I asked him how he got there and he tells me of how he started selling seedlings with a savings worth 2,000 (I will post about this next month).

This reminded me of a quote by one great man, one George Herbert; “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along”. See, most of us fresh graduates have become experts at job hunting, but have no jobs. We thus end up frustrated and we give up in life, well, it is not all over. Remember that entrepreneurship unit you were taught at school? You would be surprised at how easy it is to start a business for yourself. I looked around and saw some of the simplest jobs Kenyan entrepreneurs have created for themselves, with very little (some close to zero) capital.

Fresh Farm produce sale.

Now, how many times have you walked around town or your estate, especially in the evenings, and met vehicles parked at the road side, boots open with fresh farm produce being sold. Well, if you ask any of those who do this, the business has challenges but the rewards are sweet. But I don’t have land to farm in; you may say….well, just start with the paper bags and empty mikebes you have at home. The soil is free, buy a few seedlings and be patient enough to wait for them to grow. Or better yet, become a middle man or offer to be someone’s (a farmer) seller with commission to what you make. All you need is a small fee for the county council officers.

Roadside kiosks.

See those people who sell chapatis and smokies, chips, boiled eggs, samosas and roasted maize or corn on the cob by the road; ask them how much they make and you will know why they can never go for formal employment. I once watched a story of one Wacuka from Centonomy (watch it here), who started by selling chapos at their estate gate, but is now supplying tea to a Equity Bank Westlands, and makes more than you think. Even the famous Kemboi started by making tiny steps. Patience is key.

Movie shops

Well, well, well, you have to love Kenyans for their love of relaxing and winding. You also have to thank God for our love of movies, series and documentaries. You can be sure that if you open a movie shop either in town or that neighborhood, you will never lack customers/clients. This one though, requires some capital because of rent and all, but trust you me, the net gain is more.

Hobbies

This is one of the biggest business ideas I have ever thought of. Did you know you can turn your hobby into a business? Or even better a company? With very little start up finances? Be it writing, photography, reading, and singing, talking, baking, cooking or walking. Sure, you will need something small to give it a push, a few courses here and there then you become an expert.

Someone once said that for you to become an expert at anything, you have to spend at least ten thousand hours doing it to become perfect. Ten thousand you ask? Yes. Most of us young people do something for a few hours, or even days then we start saying we have given up or think we are perfect. Ask good instrumentalists how long they had to practice to get where they have been. As that chef how many recipes they had to burn so as to become perfect. Ask that cobbler how many shoes they had to mend to become successful. Ask that speed skater (*blush* :-) ;-)) how many miles they had to cover or how many injuries they had to get so as to skate for ten thousand meters in twenty minutes without getting tired. Then ask yourself; how many hours have you done to give up? 

George Eliot once said that “It is never too late to be what you might have been”. 

Take charge, start today.

@deekareithi

Read More

25 HILARIOUS QUOTES

Before I post my monthly poem and post; some 25 hilarious quotes I tumbled upon. Feel free to disregard what you don't believe.

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Read More

IN MY SHOES

“The lady who has the most shoes in the end wins!!” a lady I know excitedly exclaimed when she when she was explaining why she was attending a shoe sale (name excluded for obvious reasons). Win what? (I hear men asking) Well, she will just win IT. Don't ask me what it is she wins; she just wins... it's there. No one knows what is won but she wins. Period. No questions about it. I don’t know who cast a spell on ladies that brought forth this obsession with shoes.

 

 

Ha-ha now, fast forward to the many shoes we see on the streets. I am and forever be amazed at the types of shoes I see ladies wearing. Now before you throw that glass at me, don’t get me wrong, I am a lady too and even though I own a few (10-15) pairs of shoes (more to come soon); I always wonder why we ladies in particular love wearing weird makes of shoes. Sophistication? Class? I still don’t see the need to walk uncomfortably and spend several thousands of shillings on something that causes you more pain than comfort when walking. I like keeping it simple and comfortable. But then that’s me. Men, on the other hand, have no trouble with shoes…just slip your feet in there and ensure it’s fitting and comfortable; classy or not.

Anyway, enough of the shoes rant. Now, more often than not I hear people blurt out the famous statement “Don’t judge me until you have walked in my shoes”. Each time I hear someone say/write that I can’t help but laugh. Most of the time, the person saying that is saying it to defend some behavior or attitude that in fact is spiritually, morally or socially unacceptable. This statement tends to give them some sort of consolation that what they did/said was right; only that the rest of the human race does not understand or know them. I mean; even I have used it severally to sooth my human ego. In most instances, the statement “you don’t know me” (which is said with a straight face with lots of bitterness, anger and resentment towards the person being addressed) accompanies or comes before the famous statement.

  These days I just burst into laugh when this statement is made… okay, not burst, I chuckle…. fine; I smile (with a cheeky evil laughter inside) and wonder, before we make such a statement; do we ever examine ourselves and see if we even have the proverbial shoes? And if we do; are they fit for anyone to walk in? Are they walkable? (Yeah; I just invented that word…I’ll patent it :-p). See, most of us complain that others judge us without knowing what we had to do to do what we did (are those lyrics to a song? I regress). Coincidentally, it’s mostly a lady who is saying that. Lately, most of us ladies have been reduced to wasting our inner beauty, wasting away our souls, in a bid to please others (read men). So damaged are we that these proverbial shoes that we say people need to walk in before judging us; have been reduced to dust. We are walking bare footed.

So lost in the world are we that we do not even think of how our children will be; how they will grow up. We need the grace of God. Even though I have never heard many men say that (except when they are caught cheating or lying), we all; men included, need to examine ourselves more and see why we want to be so self-defensive and want to justify that which was obviously wrong.

So, the next time we (I included) are tempted to use the statement “Don’t judge me until you have walked in my shoes”, let’s ask ourselves, do we even have any shoes or are we walking around bare footed? If we do; are they walkable? Let’s examine our spiritual, moral and social selves and see why we are being so defensive.

Twitter: @deekareithi

Read More

THE SHADOWS by @wanjiru_wanjiku

The shadows in here converse;
Low grumpy conversations,
Gesticulating and pacing,
With their fingers growing long each passing minute,
Embracing my neck-
Squeezing and soothing.

I had known how to silence them,
Let them watch in awe as I practice a smile,
And a gait so blissful when I carry the wind on my shoulders.

Now I observe them with tight lips and a heart so torn that the sun rays go right through it,
Let them dance on the chandelier of hope laying somewhere in the room,
Gaze as they squeeze the very last ounce of light from my eyeballs.

What I know about living
is that pain is never just ours,
After a while we learn to dance to the music of our hearts again,
Wishing on porch lights like they were stars on cloudy nights.

But they wake me at night,
Howling again and again
that my heart has just skinned it knees...
A worse day is yet to come...
That maybe tomorrow...
is just an illusion.

So I toss forcefully closing my eyes,
Mumbling to the darkness that girdles me,
To the voices in my head...
To my soul hovering somewhere...
To these walls that have become friends...
To the spirits in here throwing stones
forcing me into an introvert's shell.

I had mastered the art of sealing lips and ignoring pain,
But the sea inside me is so full of bottles it no longer tides,
The messages taking on bipolar tendencies-
Some read "live"
Others " just how much water do you need to keep the pills down!"

So if tommorow really is an illusion
Let the world know I tried
But when I thought I had hit rock bottom
It hit back so hard
That the thread holding hope together snapped.

All rights reserved Shiru Wa Mum 2014 

Read More