WHAT IF WE: KINDNESS

Sunday morning; it’s after the first service…I missed praise and worship (damn you lazy bug). So I am here waiting for praise and worship for the second service before I leave (they sing the same songs anyway). I am reminiscing the days I used to teach Sunday school while in campus. Kids are so wonderful to teach…ooh the joy I would get; planting seeds of the word of God in their tiny hearts and laying foundations for them was oh-so-fulfilling. But when I moved to Nairobi; I tried to inquire if I can join the Sunday school teachers team…the requirements I was asked to bring! Oh my God! What did they think I would teach them; hunting? Even mentioning that I taught sons and daughters of Moi’s relatives at Kabarak Community Chapel did not yield me any success…these Nairobi churches! Tsk! You should have seen how pissed I was on that day! I regress

Where was I? Oh yes; waiting for second service to start. I reminisce as I send some sweet message to my one and only. I look up to see this guy and his sister (I assume) coming up to the row where I sat. You see, this I why I love sitting in the balcony seats…you get the luxury of choosing who will be your neighbor; unlike down there where the usher does it for you. They guy is smiling at me so hard. Typical me; I look behind to see if it is really me he is smiling at. There is no one behind me. Keep calm Dee. Try to remember who he is or where you met. I get nothing from my memory. Oh boy (scratch that)..Oh God; please don’t let him be a weirdo or a pervert or a member of #TeamMafisi. 

I quickly smile back and go back to my message. By now it has lost the mushiness I drafted it with *damn you guy-walking-up-the-stairs-with-your-sister*.  He taps my shoulder. What is wrong with this guy? Is he planting a bug on me? Is he drugging me? In church? Oh the nerve he has! My mind goes back to one woman I  sat next to on a bus ride to a wedding reception and the tout told her she was exquisitely dressed. Boy you should have heard the exorcising words she uttered! You would have thought the devil himself resides permanently in the man’s body. Or the song “umejivalia ngozi ya kondoo” song was dedicated to him. I mean…she did look good. I’m sure one of her goals when she dressed that way was that people would notice and she would be “outstanding”. The young man just complemented her dressing and was practicing some kindness. What did he get in return? Exorcism!

Back to the guy tapping my shoulder. “how are you” he says; still smiling. “I am great” I say “Have we met?” I quickly ask before he assumes that I know him and before he starts asking me “siku hizi uko wapi?” and “ulipotelea wapi?”. “No,” he says. Look at this one now. I remember hoping that God had not told him ati the first lady he sees in church would be the one sent to him;the one he had been praying for! “It’s my random act of kindness” he explains as if he had read my mind. “Thank you. I’m great” I reply as I smile.

 

The campaign dubbed #ForMyCity led by Poetry Spot Kenya made me think about this situation. There is a lot of spite and heartlessness going on around. Kindness has become extinct. Gone and rare are the days and people who would lend a helping hand to people who need a hand without demanding recognition or a thank you. We are in a bid to change that. And it begins with me and you. It’s never too late to start practicing a little kindness. Making the “random acts of kindness” real. It will make a change. I am doing it for myself, for that person who may need a shoulder; for my city and for humanity. 

What if we all practiced kindness?

Facebook:  Njeri Kareithi

Twitter: @deekareithi

Facebook:  Njeri Kareithi

Twitter: @deekareithi

Facebook:  Njeri Kareithi

Twitter: @deekareithi

follow the #ForMyCity talk on twitter here

Facebook:  Njeri Kareithi

Twitter: @deekareithi

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MANIFESTATION OF LOVE

Valentines is drawing nearer with each rising and setting of the sun…of all the definitions of love that I have ever come across, these manifestations of love are the best that I can agree with (this is my opinion and that of the writer).  Just from the way it started, “God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.” Caught my eye (and my heart). Here is what the writer said

1. LOVE IS... being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
2. LOVE IS... actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
3. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
4. LOVE IS... being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
5. LOVE IS... being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing, or being right. 
6. LOVE IS... a making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
7. LOVE IS... being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.
8. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.
9. LOVE IS... being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.
10. LOVE IS... being a good student of another, looking for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it, or encourage them along the way.
11. LOVE IS... being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.
12. LOVE IS... being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
13. LOVE IS... recognizing the high value of trust in a relationship and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.
14. LOVE IS... speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.
15. LOVE IS... being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.
16. LOVE IS... being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning, and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
17. LOVE IS... the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a spouse, parent, neighbor, etc.
18. LOVE IS... a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your relationships.
19. LOVE IS... staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.
20. LOVE IS... the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.
21. LOVE IS... being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person, or weakens the bond of trust between you.
22. LOVE IS... refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.
23. LOVE IS... daily admitting to yourself, the other person, and God that you are unable to be driven by a cruciform love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

This is the kind of love I am striving to daily to have.  I may not manifest all, but I try my best to show love in ways that God would like me to.

                     

                 Once again, Happy Valentines from Njeri Kareithi

 

@deekareithi

                                           @deekareithi

see the original post here 

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IN MY SHOES

“The lady who has the most shoes in the end wins!!” a lady I know excitedly exclaimed when she when she was explaining why she was attending a shoe sale (name excluded for obvious reasons). Win what? (I hear men asking) Well, she will just win IT. Don't ask me what it is she wins; she just wins... it's there. No one knows what is won but she wins. Period. No questions about it. I don’t know who cast a spell on ladies that brought forth this obsession with shoes.

 

 

Ha-ha now, fast forward to the many shoes we see on the streets. I am and forever be amazed at the types of shoes I see ladies wearing. Now before you throw that glass at me, don’t get me wrong, I am a lady too and even though I own a few (10-15) pairs of shoes (more to come soon); I always wonder why we ladies in particular love wearing weird makes of shoes. Sophistication? Class? I still don’t see the need to walk uncomfortably and spend several thousands of shillings on something that causes you more pain than comfort when walking. I like keeping it simple and comfortable. But then that’s me. Men, on the other hand, have no trouble with shoes…just slip your feet in there and ensure it’s fitting and comfortable; classy or not.

Anyway, enough of the shoes rant. Now, more often than not I hear people blurt out the famous statement “Don’t judge me until you have walked in my shoes”. Each time I hear someone say/write that I can’t help but laugh. Most of the time, the person saying that is saying it to defend some behavior or attitude that in fact is spiritually, morally or socially unacceptable. This statement tends to give them some sort of consolation that what they did/said was right; only that the rest of the human race does not understand or know them. I mean; even I have used it severally to sooth my human ego. In most instances, the statement “you don’t know me” (which is said with a straight face with lots of bitterness, anger and resentment towards the person being addressed) accompanies or comes before the famous statement.

  These days I just burst into laugh when this statement is made… okay, not burst, I chuckle…. fine; I smile (with a cheeky evil laughter inside) and wonder, before we make such a statement; do we ever examine ourselves and see if we even have the proverbial shoes? And if we do; are they fit for anyone to walk in? Are they walkable? (Yeah; I just invented that word…I’ll patent it :-p). See, most of us complain that others judge us without knowing what we had to do to do what we did (are those lyrics to a song? I regress). Coincidentally, it’s mostly a lady who is saying that. Lately, most of us ladies have been reduced to wasting our inner beauty, wasting away our souls, in a bid to please others (read men). So damaged are we that these proverbial shoes that we say people need to walk in before judging us; have been reduced to dust. We are walking bare footed.

So lost in the world are we that we do not even think of how our children will be; how they will grow up. We need the grace of God. Even though I have never heard many men say that (except when they are caught cheating or lying), we all; men included, need to examine ourselves more and see why we want to be so self-defensive and want to justify that which was obviously wrong.

So, the next time we (I included) are tempted to use the statement “Don’t judge me until you have walked in my shoes”, let’s ask ourselves, do we even have any shoes or are we walking around bare footed? If we do; are they walkable? Let’s examine our spiritual, moral and social selves and see why we are being so defensive.

Twitter: @deekareithi

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THROWBACK THURSDAY.

Did you catch that? I threw it!! And it was Thursday!! Hehehe, throw back Thursday it is. Now, to begin with; who on earth invented this “throwback Thursday?”  Why particularly on Thursday? I thought if there was a day that one would use to reflect on the past; it should be Monday. You know, with the weekend past and we did all those things during the weekend and…never mind. This is not about Mondays and weekends.

Since this is a Thursday and social pressure (damn you social and peer pressure) has enslaved me; I am obliged to write this. Now, you are in a train, its speeding past the fields, you are seated alone at a window. As the train speeds past a dusty town, you stare mysteriously (you know, like they do in movies....lol) out of the window. You start reminiscing; oh how you miss the past. Memories flash before your very eyes, your train of thoughts and memories is moving so slow, you live in the memories once again. See where you are, now, hold that position. Such is the setting I intended this to be written (unlike where I am now, in an office full of books; not novels and data waiting for me to analyze it. *le sigh*).

I miss the old days, the good old days. Even though poverty was more rampant and food was scarce, I miss the values that we had. You know, (to the younger generation) the days your folks or grandparents tell you about when a 10cents (Kenyan cents) would buy you a loaf of bread, ok not that long ago… days when “bibo” and “juci cola” were a delicacy, days when the alphabet was taught as it is written, not as what children are taught these days. I do miss those days, and here is the reason why;

I miss the days when brotherhood was the norm. Days when looking out for your brother was your first priority. Days when if your parents bought you a bicycle, you would rush to the village (community) kids and exclaim “tumenunuliwa bike” (A bicycle has been bought for us) and you wouldn’t mind sharing it, taking turns to ride it. Days when people lived in actual communities and not “gated communities” where you do not even know and have never seen your neighbor.  I miss the days we would look forward to Christmas and birthdays, because it was a time we rejoiced and sipped juice and bread; unlike the big birthday parties they have these days, with emcees and all…why would you hire an emcee for your child’s first birthday? In my days, you grandpa was the emcee!!

I miss the days when marriage was respected and pregnancy celebrated; when love was real. You know, days when people would go through so much (together) and make their marriages work (ever looked at an old couple and wondered what they saw in each other? I always do), unlike these days when insecurity, greed and doubt fill relationships. Days when pregnancy was celebrated, not as these days where you hear “so and so is pregnant” and the response is “her too? Oh they could not wait?” then the other will reply “I guess not, but her boy friend will have to marry her now”. Sad. These days people get married to cover for pregnancies, the world is full of people who want relationships with no commitment; people who want the “husband-wife” or “boyfriend-girlfriend” experience, with no commitment. Coz if you do, you are too serious with life? Sad.

I miss those days when innocence was celebrated; days when cartoons, animations and comedy was something to watch with children and laugh about; not some mischievous and evil plan to throw in some dirty words…I mean, these days even cartoons and animations kiss and have “friends with benefits” relationships, in our days, only Cinderella had the privilege to kiss her prince charming! Days when novels were interesting, not some porn on paper! Days when writers had good content to write about, after serious consideration and days of writing; not based on a certain pornographic fantasy they have.

Of all, I miss those days when Christians had values and stuck to them. Not spend days drinking and the next minute they are leading worship in church…days when we had “Sunday best” dressing out best; unlike these days when we use the “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart….” (1^st Samuel 16:7) scripture to defend our lacking clothing at church or anywhere (its good to read the whole chapter and see why Samuel said that).

And though those days are far much gone, I strive to re-live them and ensure my children will have a taste of those days and these memories.

Now, get out of that train (of thoughts) and continue doing what we were doing. Let’s ensure that our children have a life they look back at and miss.

Twitter: @deekareithi

 Google plus: Dorcas Kareithi

*ION, May the soul of Dr. Maya Angelou, renown poet and inspiration to writers and poets, rest in eternal peace*

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I SEE YOU

I see you,

Crying at the street corner,

Tears that no one will see,

With a story no one will believe.

Passers-by pass you by,

With judgmental glances,

Peeking under their glasses;

“She’s one of them, swims in pangs of pity, She knows not the mystery that is purity”

They hiss in hushed tones.

I see you,

You went to the gym each day,

Thinking if you stayed thin, he would stay.

But then these lasses,

With judgmental glances,

Peeking under their glasses;

They could go to Katmandu overland,

On a limping camel for all you cared;

But your life they stripped!

I see you,

Misery emanates from you,

Like radioactivity from plutonium.

Waiting to die, sitting alone,

In your own cell, regretting all you’ve done.

Daily you huskily howl, from deep inside your soul,

“Help me, I want to go home”

I see you,

Longing for someone who mends; heals,

One who feeds; gives meals,

One to clothe; tops and heels,

He who owns a thousand cattle upon hills.

“Come to me, with your heavy burdens;

Lay them at my feet”

I see you,

I will take you, feed, clothe, mend you,

I will not judge you, for what you’ve done

Or what you have become,

I will love you for you.

Come; my child come.

Befado

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THE THINGS PEOPLE DO FOR LOVE

As I write this, the rain outside is pounding, the freezing wind blowing through the office window. I am freezing. I play list some classical themes and pour myself a cup of hot cocoa *ooh the warmth*. The contrast of what I feel inside and what is happening outside is sharp. Now that all is set; I start typing...

On my way to work this morning, it was raining cats and dogs or as my mum would say, elephants and hippos (you know, coz then you can be sure its heavy…you see cats and dogs are not that heavy). Anyway, if there is a time when men (read Kenyan men) expose their gentleman-ness is at times such as these. I spot several couples (older coz you know the youngsters couldn’t be caught dead awake at 7 something in the morning and on their way to work). I see the men jealously shielding their women from the rain…you would think that rain has some male genes and is trying to steal the woman from him….lol.

 I lift my umbrella and see another man picking up his lady (I assumed) from the gate, from the cold of the rain to the warmth of this cool red Mercedes *swallows a glint of jealousy* and I immediately wish SB was there. Now, this made me think of the many things people do for love…I mean Valentine’s Day was just the other day and people did crazy things for love. Some dug their way into deep debt (shame on you), others wiped out their savings (SMH), others did some special things (;-)) and others, well, did nothing (majority fall here).

It also made me think of the many sacrifices and things people do to make the other (significant or not) feel special. The crazy things that we do to make our loved ones feel loved and appreciated; things that you cannot put a price tag on. *le sigh* then it made me think of how we feel if the love is not reciprocated or if our efforts are taken for granted…sad right? You feel like you were taken for a ride and used; like the k in knee (ok, that was lame but trust me, it sounded so funny in my head).

I get to work and the place is almost full and everyone is in a good mood. Everyone is smiling like they inhaled small amounts of laughing gas but just can’t laugh. Then it hits me….aaah the long holiday is coming. Speaking of long holiday; don’t you love how this holiday is four days long? I mean that is like a whole week off *yey* Thank you Jesus!! This reminds me the reason for this post.

Now people do so much for love; but this cannot; can never and will never amount to what one man did a few thousand years ago. The perfect act of love; something that till this day no one has ever and no one will ever attempt to do. I am not talking about titanic silly (though that too has never been repeated he he). I am talking about the reason for this long holiday; the death of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ on the cross. He died for love; because He loved us so much. This act of dying on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins breaks me down each time I think about it. And the way we (I included) at times take this act for granted, take his love for granted. But His mercies and grace are never ending; He is always willing to take us back (as opposed to attempting to take human love for granted…you would get silent treatment for the rest of your days on earth).

A singer I love so much; Vicky Beeching sang these words (more of a prayer) in her song, Wonder of the cross:

“O precious sight, my Savior stands,
Dying for me with outstretched hands.
O precious sight, I love to gaze,
Remembering salvation's day,
Remembering salvation's day.
 

Though my eyes linger on this scene,
May passing time and years not steal
The power with which it impacts me,
The freshness of its mystery,
The freshness of its mystery.

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.

Behold the God-man crucified,
The perfect sinless sacrifice.
As blood ran down those nails and wood,
History was split in two, yes,
History was split in two.
Behold the empty wooden tree,
His body gone, alive and free.
We sing with everlasting joy,
For sin and death have been destroyed, yes,
Sin and death have been destroyed.”

Of all the things we do for love, this was greatest thing done ever. During this Easter break and season, as we take the break, take a moment to reflect on this act; the love of Christ; and what you are doing to ensure you reciprocate this love.

Happy Easter my friends. :-) :-)

Twitter @deekareithi

Google plus Dorcas Kareithi

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WHERE ARE WE HEADED?

Recently, a controversy broke out about a church poster that was termed as “not fit” for not only Christian viewing but also general viewing.  There have been talks, debates and all that hullabaloo about it. The church came out in defense of their youth course (though I did not hear them support their answers with scripture as is expected of any religion follower accused of going against their faith). But that is not what makes me angry.

 

“What brings you to church” I asked a youth man in an un-named city church. The young man laughs and glances around before saying; “The hot girls, of course. I realized that it’s actually easier to get sex in church, because many of these young people are rebellious, they come here to mask their behavior. They are the wildest group I know of; most are just pretenders,” he confides.”

This was an excerpt from a local daily that was investigating on the same. Now, before you get judgmental and all, I am a born again Christian, who believes in certain values, and above all, HUMAN. This does not mean I am “holy”; I do make mistakes, I do sin, but by the grace of God keeps me safe from most evil and sin.

Now, back to my anger. I am left to wonder where our Christian values, those values our parents taught us, and brought us up with; where are they? Where are we headed as a Christian nation? We are at a time and age where gospel artists no longer give content that is based on the scripture (and none of them seem to care). Where a Christian artist goes ahead and gets models for his video and publicly says the sees nothing wrong in appreciating beauty (as they dance erotically). Where worship leaders spend the night at drinking parties and in the morning they are leading worship. Where we Christian youth are getting married to cover up some pregnancy. What happened to no sex before marriage? Where dancing styles like “bend over” are danced in church, at the pulpit mind you, and the church leaders just smile and say “the youth are dancing for Jesus” and “our youth are talented”, as they look at the congregation with pride seeing how young people have flocked their church.

What explanation do they give? “We are attracting the youth to church”. “Times have changed; we have to give something that is attractive to the youth, to lead them to Jesus”. 

“¹I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the compassions of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, [which is] your intelligent service.² And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [your] mind, that ye may prove what [is] the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1 and 2

Where are we headed? Where have our Christian values been buried in the name of “attracting people to Jesus”?! Call me old school, but such are the values that we need back. It is as such moments that I echo my colleague Dickson Otieno’s words; as he put it here. 

If there was a time we, the youth needed prayers; it is now.

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