3 February 2015

LETTING GO.

Dee love, me, taking care of self, valentines 2 comments

Monday evening, it’s just a few minutes before class starts. This girlfriend of mine has glowing face and a bright smile today ; she is wearing a beautiful sunny dress and some flowery sandals. She places her hand bag on the table and comes running towards me (okay, she did not run, she walked hastily…I was at the other end of the table going though some text messages from a conversation I had had with a friend). She was different. Something had changed in her. She was happy, she was smiling, she was laughing, she had glee; she was alive!

“Dee, I met your people” she said amidst a somewhat outburst. I thought she would scream. Looking around just to make sure no one is listening just in case she says something she was not supposed to (see, I don’t know of people I can say that are “my people”, other than my family members :-D).

“What people?”I asked. She went ahead to remind me of this group that I had introduced to her to. For a few months, she had been going through a rough patch in her life and wanted to let go of some things and move on. She needed something to help her clear her mind. She had done meditation and needed to feel alive again. Being the adventurous bug I am, always looking for adventures to experience; I recommended a road trip to Arusha some friends were doing…she went. And the person standing in front of me was the result of the said road trip which was two days long. She went ahead and explained how it went down...even with pictures as evidence. I smiled. I was happy for her. She had done it!!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the year again; as they say, love is “in the air”. It’s February, the so called month of love. During this month, some young partners will celebrate their first valentines, some old couples will celebrate the umpteenth valentines, a time to celebrate their love. To others, however, it is a month where those past wounds resurface, when that pain they experienced with that one person they loved (or thought they loved) bites just one more time.

The sight of people walking hand in hand, people writing to each other love messages in public, people displaying affection in public (not a fan of PDA by the way), and with the recent migration of people to social media, the updates, the photos, the mushy-mushy messages will be something they will not want to see. Better yet; how about staying offline and changing the phone and getting one that does not have all those applications, a “not so smart” phone.

Letting go has been and will be one of the things we human beings struggle with. All of us. There is no way of saying that there is a best way of moving on. The way and duration of one person moving on and lets go cannot be the same as another. It’s like falling in love. No two ways of falling in love are identical, not even two experiences of birthing a young one (I don’t know how appropriate this is), each experience is unique. Well, in the same way, letting go of that love or loss of a loved one is different.

The overlying fact, however, is that for you to move on and let go, you have to decide. Making up your mind and sticking to it is just the first step. The same way you decide to let someone in your life is the same way you can let them out of your life. Do it for yourself; for your well being…then you can heal well. You may decide to do it like my friend did, do something new, take yourself out, experience something new, watch a new movie, spend time with a friend, just do something that you know is worth it. And know your worth enough to let it go. Don’t forget to have fun while at it!!