During the Mashujaa Day public
holiday I visited my grandpa…not only was it a good chance to surprise the old
peeps whose eye sight is worsening, but it was a chance to drive and not get
caught (my license expired). As mentioned, the old man’s eyesight is
diminishing as well as his memory. Now, I followed his trail to the farm since
he was not home and I had spotted his signature black birika(kettle), which as young tots we had all drank from, brewing
some strong tea. When I find him, he is sitted on the ground in his Mbaki (tobacco) farm, paper and pen at
hand, drawing a cartoon of an old man (he was a teacher in the colonial
government). I laugh at the cartoon and he notices someone is beside him. I introduce myself.
“Guka, ni Njeri” (Grandpa, its Njeri). He looks up and asks me “Njeri wa uu?” (who’s daughter).
Well, you have to blame our
African parents for naming us all after one person…90% of my female cousins are
called Njeri (which when translated means “traveler”), and the male cousins are
called Murimi (which when translated means “farmer”). We were all named after
our great grand parents who had the characteristics represented by our
names. Back to my tale.
“Njeri wa Kareithi” I said. His face lit up and he started asking me
about how Nairobi life was. We chatted for a few minutes before I remembered
one of the people I had worked with told me he knew him and asked me to say Hi
when I see him. I told him about the man. You should have seen the joy on he
face as he started narrating to me how they met. At the end of the story, he
was so happy, he was almost on his feet (he is quite old; he keeps reminding us
that his legs are so weak). The joy he exhibited just brought a smile to my
face. He kept on saying how happy he is that someone remembered him; how that
was the best news he had received in a while.
Fast forward a few days ago…I saw
a man in town carrying a bouquet of flowers rushing to an evening bus, pulling
along a big suitcase. “wow, that wife/girlfriend must be really lucky” I whispered
to my inner self. I figured out that the man had just arrived from a long
journey (based on the size of the suitcase and the weary face), but he knew
that something as small as a banquet of flowers would make his lady happy and
appreciated.
This made me think about how we
treat our significant others. Some of us try so hard to do big things, go out
of our ways to please them (I’m not saying its wrong), while all along; it’s
the simple things that count. What simple things? You may ask. How will I know?
You may ask. I once asked my mentor’s husband he makes sure the wife remains
happy. “Observe; be attentive. I started doing this from the first day I saw
her. That’s how I won her over” is all he could say. I asked my mentor (his
wife) what she does to ensure that the husband remains happy and feels
appreciated. “be alert and attentive, see the small things” is what she kept
repeating.
I later came to understand what
they were saying. Being attentive, concentrating, observing your partner makes
you know them and pick up little things that make their faces light up. They are
not the big things, they are actually small and simple things that one may be
taking for granted or as ordinary. We are all different. Each of us has
distinct things that make us feel appreciated. Be it that flower you buy for
them, that tie you buy for them, that piece of chocolate, that message or call
at the end of the day, spending time together, visiting somewhere new, that
game he/she loves to play, that movie he/she likes to watch, taking dumb photos
(this is my favorite); it differs from person to person. Some of these things
don’t cost anything.
As we celebrate this festive
season, a time to be with family and loved ones, be attentive, open your eyes
and mind. You may just see the simple things that count.
Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas
and Happy New Year 2015. See you then fam!
